That is how my semester has felt. Like I am swimming in a big bowl of jello. I have been constantly busy, running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am balancing my school load (classes & assignments), work (now three departments at SRM), a social life, sorority, church events, and a relationship with the most caring soul.
But boy am I struggling!! I have been busy for so long, that I am focused more on myself lately than others around me. I have this huge test that I have to pass in order to teach and it is kicking me in the rump. I have studied and studied but I still can't seem to retain the knowledge. I took the test for the fourth time yesterday and again, I did not pass. At first, I was angry. Angry at myself, at standardized testing, at life. After the anger passed, it turned into a gloomy sad cloud. I was depressed. This test is the deciding factor for my teaching placement and timing. I am have strived for the passed four years to student teach the spring of 2018. I have worked over time hours, taken course overload, I am be determined for this to happen. Then it hit me like a load of bricks. This has all been MY plan. The plan I have worked for, but God might have a completely different plan for me. Maybe I am suppose to wait or maybe He is showing me something that I cannot yet see.
And just in the blink of an eye, my thought process changed. Not that I have given up, I am still striving toward my goal of student teaching in the spring, but my focus is beginning to finally shift off of myself and onto what God wants. I am been praying more (even though it was just yesterday), reflecting more on what is happening around me and realizing that with that, it would not be the end of the world if I were to push things back a semester. I do not WANT to, but God is in control. I was finally reminded of the verse in the old testament:
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope for the future." -Jeremiah 29:11
Keep your focus on things that are above,