Saturday, July 18, 2015

College: the first year

College. They say it changes a person. They say you find out who you are. They say you meet your life friends. Well when I began my college experience almost a year ago and someone told me these things I would have thought they were insane. What do you mean change? New me? New friends? WHAT?!?!

Looking back now, college has changed me for the better. I have learned that who I was in high school isn't going to be who I am forever. After completing an entire year of college I would say I have learned a lot. I have lost some of who I was but more importantly, I have gained an abundance about who I am suppose to be. I may not know exactly where I am going but I am thankful God has lead me to where I am.

The first year of college was quite the experience. I lived a home (and plan to for the remaining part), I not only joined a sorority but helped create one, I have been on several out-of-my-comfort-zone adventures, and made life long friends that I will always cherish.

I may say the same things in all my blogs, but I know that looking back at my first year of school I have indeed become a better person. I may not have realized this until creeping on some of the people that use to be close friends to me. As i was looking through their Facebook feeds and pictures from their first year of college, I was a little jealous. They all seemed to have much more fun and better life experiences, but you know what? It made me realize that I also had a heck of a year.

Joining a sorority isn't an easy decision. Cumberland only had one when I decided which college to go to and deciding weather or not to join it was going to be tough. Then school started so it was really time to decide what I was going to do, what to join, what to get involved in. That's when one of my best friends and the only person I knew before starting college was thinking about creating her own sorority. I mean come on, having only one isn't even fair. So then began the process of forming a new group. We got it approved by the greek life office and started a recruitment process. In the end, we had seven girl willing and excited about the group. We formatted it after an already existing group that was once on our campus in hopes that someday we would get absorbed. This dreams are now becoming a reality.  This Fall (2015), Tau Sigma Alpha will become Alpha Sigma Tau, the group we wanted to be. It is so surreal that we will be national.

Overall, the first year of college has taught me a lot but I wouldn't change a thing. I am even looking forward to starting my sophomore year here in just about a month!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

power of change

The power of change is a phrase we often hear but does anyone know exactly how to do it? We tell ourselves all the time that we need to make changes in our lives but do we? The main cause for this is lack of motivation.

P- possibilities
O- openness
W- willing
E- energy
R- readiness

The first letter in power is P. This stands for possibilities, which are endless. First you have to decide what exactly needs to change. Is it your diet, bad habits, or are you needing to get out of a rut? Once you decide what needs to change, you must then decide how you wish to go about this. Remember that change is hard for everyone and that it takes time.

The next step is to be open. Go into your decision with an open mind so that the change will hold. If you're not open minded, the likeliness of you following through are slim. Be open to the new diet or cutting the bad habit. Look at it this way, if you think you want to do it then you have to! My momma always said you can't quit until its over, and that is exactly how change works.

Okay, so like openness once you have decided a plan you must be willing to stick with it. For example, I was told that I have high blood sugar so to fix the problem before it becomes a risk I decided to cut wayyyyyy back on my sugar in take. I stopped drinking soda and went to a less sugar tea. Well I stuck with it for a month and then my willingness died. To keep the willingness alive, seat goals and reward yourself when you meet them. This is a great tactic for just about any change you wish to make. Say if you go a solid week without sugar then the next week treat yourself to half a milkshake or something but don't let this get out of hand. ;)

Before you make a change, realize it takes a lot of energy. You have to monitor the goals you set and make sure that you are indeed sticking to them. It becomes one of the biggest priorities in your life at this point. If you want it to work, you have to put forth the time and energy that it takes to get there.

Lastly, you have to be ready. Now I know that change doesn't always come at the best time or even at a time that we choose but we have to prepare ourselves to make these changes and allow them to come. We must be ready for whatever the obstacle may be.

All in all we must know that we are the ones that control the power needed to make changes in our lives, however we don't have to go through these times alone. If you are struggling ask a friend to pray or to talk with you through it. You may want the cake but you have to practice your self control and not eat it. Good luck to all the changes you wish to make. Remember set goals & stick to them!

*xoxo R

when life makes you a stranger

To someone we are always a stranger. Wether that be to someone just passing by, a friend that use to be close, an ex, or even ourselves, we are always strangers. It hurts the most when it happens to the people we once were close to. Relationships don't always last and friendships often fade but we still long for these people after they are removed from our lives.

At first, you may be okay with no longer being close to these said people. You may believe that you've moved on and have convinced yourself that you are happy without them lingering in the shadows and that your life is somehow better without them in it. Maybe you have moved on and, you no longer wish for them, no longer think of them first and then it hits you like a ton of bricks all at once. 

Maybe it hit you because you went to that one restaurant that meant so much when the relationship was there and it reminds you of the good times, or maybe its a park where you use to hang out all the time, or maybe you see them for the first time in months. In these moments is when you realize that you aren't okay and that you may never be the same. It makes you want to crawl into a dark corner and just cry until you can no longer force tears down your cheeks. And you know what? It is totally acceptable because you take one look at that person, the one you use to share your darkest secrets with and you realize you no longer know anything about them and you've drifted away for a reason. The reasons vary from long distance, different schools, change of direction, new jobs, or simply because both of you have stopped making an effort for the relationship to work... It is a two way street! 

And then you get to wondering and thinking that you seriously don't know this friend anymore. At one time you could name all there favorites and now you're left questioning yourself about the silliest things. Is their favorite color the same? Candy? Ice-cream? These questions you once knew like the back of your hand you no longer have the answers to and it hurts. Looking straight at that person and pretending that you're fine, that you have moved on, that is the hardest part. The world has made you complete strangers to each other and you have to learn to just accept that.

It brings the sting of tears and the heartbreak of losing such a close friend and all you have left is the memories that you made that float around in your head from time to time. However, that person you knew is no longer the same. You are no longer the same person either. And it hurts but time heals wounds and life moves on.